“Black-Eyed” Final Sequence and Critique
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(Final comments following rough edit shown in class and after creating final sequence):
Audience Reaction to Rough Edit
I was pleased with the class’ reaction to the rough edit. I felt that the story came across in a clear and understandable way and I noticed there was some sympathy for WK (Wrestling Ken, aka Buff Ken) when Barbie walked away, which I was hoping for.
I was glad for Rii’s feedback about the framing of the opening shots, which I tweaked for the final sequence. I also appreciated Rii’s comment about subtracting some of the shots, because once you’ve seen a shot it’s not necessary to repeat similar shots in the same sequence. This also helped me create a tighter final sequence and it also made me look differently at students’ projects - less is more.
Edits for Final Sequence
1. I replaced the opening shot with a better picture of Barbie that leads nicely to the following Long Shot.
2. I took out the third shot of B that had her centered looking up left with unwanted space in the picture. I replaced it with the shot of barbie looking right towards the following shot of WK entering scene.
(I couldn’t find a shot of WK farther away, so I kept with the long shot of WK entering)
3. I took out the third shot of WK walking towards B and replaced it with the mid shot of Ken about to offer the flower to B.
4. I took out the three pictures of WK’s over the shoulder and the two pictures of WK’s back of the head shot. I did this because I thought they were redundant and I feel like the whole entrance sequence is a lot tighter now and the point of view shots lead better.
5. I added the close-up of WK following the CS of B, to have a better point of view flow (which didn’t work very well before). Thanks, Rii for the tip. It also accentuates their “face to face” meeting.
6. I tweaked the sequence of the next series where WK offers the flower to B before she walks off. This flow worked more smoothly before B walks out of the frame and out of the scene.
7. I took out the “side shot” of B walking off and went directly to the next photo of her walking upper right out of the frame (again cutting out redundant pics).
8. I then went back to WK looking off sadly (as much as possible with a smile on his face) as the next photo shows B off in the distance (new photo).
9. I took out the shot of WK climbing up the wall and went right to the next photo of WK on top of the rocks. I thought this led some to the imagination by not showing the climbing photo and also moved along in the sequence better.
10. I took out the MS shot following the last “she loves me not” sequence, to show the over the shoulder shot of WK holding the flower with all the petals off. I thought the MS shot was redundant and that the over the shoulder shot was a more interesting perspective before showing the CS of the petal-less flower.
11. I lengthened the last three photos in the sequence to lead more slowly and evenly to the final shot of WK looking down at the petals falling down the rocks. I agree that this final shot is much better than the one I had there (thanks again, Rii).
Final Critique
Overall, I like this final sequence much better than the rough edit. The one point that stuck in my head after showing the rough edit in class (and watching other students’ videos) was that similar shots can get very old, very quickly in a short still sequence. Also, I felt that less is more when it comes to short videos. I was glad that I had more, than less, to work with in my rough edit. This allowed me to subtract, rather than having to come up with more photos to add (or reshoot) in my final sequence. It also allowed me to create a tighter overall sequence, which I feel I achieved in this final version.
I had a great time working on this project.
A few things I wish were better:
1. The close-up shot of WK, following the close-up of Barbie.
2. Steadier, more even camera shots during the she-loves-me-not sequence.
3. Exposed the final shot to be brighter.
